When I first sat down to write this post, I was planning on writing about our trip to the park last weekend. Pickle went down the slide for the first time staying sat up (as opposed to flopping onto his back) and it was so surreal to see our little boy so independently climbing the steps, getting himself on the slide and sitting all the way down it. It probably doesn’t sound like much if you don’t have children of our own, but believe me when I say, it was really magical and a little emotional. Something ordinary, that I wanted to remember – perfect topic choice for my first Ordinary Moments post of the year. Thing is, there’s not much else to say about it apart from that. That’s kind of it. And I’ve already summed it up in this Instagram post:
There’s something about how he looks out when he’s at the top of the climbing frame that I love. It’s a look of adventure. A look of wonder. A look that somehow gives me a glimpse of the future. I got very excited when we went to the park, as for the first time, Pickle mastered going down the slide staying sat up (rather than sliding down on his back). I thought this was quite an achievement and something to be applauded but my gushing tale of pride was met with a kind of dumbfounded stare by those I told. Turns out, it’s not that exciting to everyone else. But it is to me, Pickle. I’ll always be your Number One fan.
With all my recent talk looking back at 2017 and looking forward to my 2018 goals, I’ve been analysing a lot lately – and I’ve been thinking about this blog in particular. I’m having a little trouble at the moment figuring out how much of this blog should be written for my own personal reasons (immortalising these little special moments, for example), and how much should be ‘useful’ content for you, the reader. I wouldn’t ever want to come across as being totally self-indulgent, but at the same time, I don’t feel confident enough to write about anything parenting related with any ‘authority’. Do you know what I mean? I’ve been parenting for what feels like two minutes. How could I possibly advise or instruct others when I’m so new to it myself? I’m not a parenting expert. I just do what most of us do – muddle through, doing the best that I can, hoping that it does the trick.
The thing is, I think I may be entering a new phase. Maybe that’s a result of all the New Year reflections, or maybe it’s because Pickle’s that bit older. He’s more independent now, and maybe that means I can be a bit more independent too? I’m a stage in my parenting, and blogging, journey where I’m starting to (and wanting to) stand on my own two feet a bit more. I feel very much like Pickle must have felt standing at the top of that slide. I just need to be brave and take the plunge.
It takes practice to master something. It takes confidence. It takes one scary attempt where you’re not entirely sure if you can do it or not, but you go for it anyway. Standing at the top of that slide, holding on tightly and having the guts to let go is a big deal. But once you’ve done it? There’s no stopping you! Once you know you can do something, you can really begin to perfect a technique. A strategy. A plan.
There are lots of areas of my life I’m looking to ‘master’ this year. I want this year to be a year of change, of development and of moving forward. Another year of continual learning. I’m excited about it, I’m feeling determined, I know what I have to do and I just need to pull my socks off, be brave, and go for it.
Look at that smile on his face! If there’s any photo I need to look at to give me confidence and encouragement – it’s this one. If Pickle can master the slide, if he can be brave and take the plunge – so can I. And I’m looking forward to having a ridiculous smile on my face like this one, when it all pays off!